And please..stop being a baby!

I decided a few months ago that I wanted needed to start writing again. I missed my blog; the outlet, the creativity and the community. I missed the feeling of accomplishment and pride in myself. I just missed writing.

 So I began thinking about it.

 And I agreed with myself that yes, indeed, it was a great idea.

 So I thought for a few more weeks....Just to be sure.

Two weeks ago I actually signed into my (this) blog. I did a little maintenance while mourning the loss of the server which had contained all the pictures, now missing, from posts and the beautiful page design my mom and I had painstakingly hammered out until it was absolute perfection.  I checked to make sure the app on my phone and my tablet would actually post properly to the blog.

 And then...I wrote nothing.

 I started a Springpad notebook of  ideas. I researched writing ideas online. I read, and agreed, with all the online articles telling me that I needed to write daily. It didn't matter what I wrote about or even the quality of the writing. I just needed to write something. I mentally shook my head, agreed it was sound advice and then went on my merry way making excuses that I just didn't have the time today. Or the focus. The kids need to be picked up from school, homework needs to be done, laundry needs to be washed. The cat needs a hair ball treatment. Yes, I need to write daily but I will tomorrow. I mean next week. I mean as soon as I get the new redesigned blog up and going. Actually, as soon as the kids are out of school for the summer. Excuse after Excuse after Excuse, because I was am scared.

 I am so worried I will find out that I have lost what I used to have. The moments of insight. The glimpses of humor. The little things that used to make me love that I could and did write. I can hear the constant refrain in my head "They are all going to laugh at you!" and feel myself trying to frantically shove the little part of me back into the box where it has been quietly living repeating that it just isn't a good day to start.

Well, It's time to stop being such a big baby. I will write. Inconsequential. Little. Silly. Stupid. Meaningful. I won't know until I do it. But I will write. Everyday. And if they (you) laugh, I will hope it's because I have just been hilarious and haven't typed cock-pot instead of crock-pot (True story..happened today!) And if they (you) don't love me, that's okay. See that little white "X" on the upper right corner in a red square?  That's your escape hatch. But for me.. I will write Everyday..for myself.

2 comments:

Jen Murray said...

Glad you're back at it. I will be joining you soon.. maybe.. possibly. .

Serendipity Mine said...

Thank you and you better!