Two Week Notice Rejection Response

Yesterday I sent the head of my company a letter of resignation. Here is the response I received via e-mail:

Dear Superwoman,

I have faith in you to see this task to it's completion. I chose you because of your dedication, your wisdom of all motherly things( we'll leave algebra to me), your humor, your strengths, your warm and gentle touch (no doctor can fix a boo boo as good as your kiss), and most important your love.

I...uh.. This company is aware of your long hours and tiresome dedication. I have included the following benefits as a reminder:

• Room and Board (even if you have to clean it and board it)

• Health Insurance (even if you have to transport said managers)

• Million Dollar Retirement Account ( Shared of course, matures at age 65)

• Married Google's #1 Sexy Handyman (Need I say more)

• All the 3M stuff you need

• Company Transportation ( a vintage classic and a friendly "I love You" car)

• Laundry Service (OK, so it's self serve)

To entice you to stay with us I have been authorized to offer the following benefits:

• (1) weekly massage.

• (1) weekly Girl night out package

• (1) monthly Date with Google's #1 sexy handyman

• (2) weekly 30 minute time out sessions

• (1) weekly pamper yourself night ( a one time $100 Bath and Body Works Gift card)

• (1) "Pass It On" Chore, anything you don't want to do, pass it on to Prince Charming

• (1) weekly dinner prepared by Chef Ramsey impersonator ( Swearing included)
  

If there is anything else I could include please feel free to contact my secretary and I will accommodate you in any possible way to help see this project through.

Thank you, and I Love You.

Best Regards,
Prince Charming



Yeah, Sometimes they are pretty good at reminding you why you married 'em ;-)