Mess with me...and the pictures get it!




I was just over visiting Bee, where she explained how twisted and evil she is she had found a way to relieve stress yesterday. I thought it was funny. Actually, I laughed out loud (literally) and then told her that it was funny but if I walk in that Borders with my 8 year old I will kick her Arse.

Anywho, I'm off topic.


I was evil.

Okay, not so much evil as cunning and...and...Well, I'm not sure what else I was...so (INSERT WORD OF CHOICE HERE TO GO WITH CUNNING).

We had gone out to breakfast at a local restaurant. It was cute, westerny (complete w/ sign at door requesting everyone leave their guns at the bar) and one of those small town diners where all the moms work and everyone knows everyone.

The waitress was rude, demanding and pushy. The menu wasn't that great and the food turned out to be worse. One of the egg breakfasts we ordered had runny eggs. Not the dip your toast in the yolk runny. They were the not cooked, eat it and hurl for 2 days, make your stomach churn just looking at it, OMG, this restaurant is gonna kill me type of runny.

So we nicely asked the waitress to take them back as they were undercooked. She was huffy and obviously not pleased, but she did as asked. About 5 minutes later she brings the plate back and we all look at it.

Finally, my mom says, 'Did you remake that or just reheat it?'

The waitress looks at her with a VERY not so nice expression and says, 'I went back there and threw it in the microwave for a while.'

Turns.

And walks away.

Well, my friend did eat the eggs and as far as I know she is still perfectly fine (well, as fine as she was before, although I'm not sure that's saying a whole lot 'cause she was pretty crazy before the eggs....oh..sorry..anyway..)

So what did I do? What was my cunning and (insert above word here) way of getting even?

I rearranged their pictures.

Oh yes. I did.

In the ladies room were a bunch of pictures of different cowboys. John Wayne, Roy Rogers, Wayne Newton (seriously..WTF?) and The cast of Walker,Texas Ranger (roflmao).

I didn't like the way they had them put on the walls. John Wayne was above the back of the toilet, Wayne Newton (again...WTF?) was at eye level on wall across from toilet, Roy Rogers was on wall behind door, and the Walker TR photo was above Wayne Newton (did I mention..WTF?).

So I decided to teach them all a lesson. I put John Wayne at eye level across from the toilet, Roy Rogers above him, WalkerTR behind the door and Wayne Newton (You expected a WTF? didn't ya!) (Come on..really..WTF?..Wayne Newton??!!) went above the toilet. Just because I figured that was the stinkiest place in the room (being above the toilet) and it annoyed me that he was there.

That will teach those rude waitress, runny egg cooks, and microwaving morons what to expect when messing with me and mine.

(insert evil over caffeinated laugh here)

I wonder how long 'till someone noticed???

23 comments:

Diane said...

I'd have to go with wickedly delicious as a fill in the blank.

Not only do you NOT mess with food, you should be especially careful when it comes to eggs. Bad service - it's just wrong, totally wrong, especially in an industry who pays their wait staff mostly on tips!

The Biggest violation would truly have to be their placement of John Wayne. I mean, no way anyone would ever be thought of as more cowboy-up then the Duke. Just rude!! As to Mr. WTF, I can't stop laughing. I mean, really... WTF??

Bee said...

Do you know what's underneath chuck norris' beard?

Another fist! :op

Too funny and again umm... Borders I frequent are too many to count cuz if I see one I'm stopping in but I'll stay on this side of the highway just in case... :o)

Chris said...

Diane - Exactly! I mean..really...WTF!!!

Bee - ROFL. Maybe we should clarify which highway ;-) I also hit ever borders I can find but my neck of the woods happens to have more Barnes and Nobles. So for now I think we're safe ;-)

Brian o Vretanos said...

It could be some time before they notice - if they pay as much attention to their toilets as their food and and their customers...

(Am I the only person who always takes at least two attempts to type these "Security" things in? I never can tell between "q" and "a" :-( )

Tracy said...

My my my, aren't you a devious one? Rearranging the pictures...wicked...lol! If you did that in my house, I wouldn't notice for years.
I can't believe that waitress though! When she turned and walked off, she would have been hit in the back with those frippin eggs!
And seriously...Wayne Newton? WTF????

twetyz1 said...

This is a complete reminder why I have YOU cook when you come over, b/c I have lots and lots of pics 4 you to rearrange!!

There is never a dull moment with you! Maybe that is why we have been friends for so long!?

Love You!!!

Chris said...

Brian - Well, I'm hoping suddenly seeing John Wayne as Opposed to Wayne Newton (I know..WTF!) will make a few eye brows go up ;-) And no..I always get the security questions wrong. ROFL.

Tracy - Yes. You have found me out. I must be the evil twin, right? HAHA.

As for the eggs...had I thought about it..I probably would have!

And EXACTLY! WTF!!??

Chris said...

Twetyz - XOXO. I will get you to cook. Just you wait ;-) You have WAY to many pics!!! No way in hades I'm rearranging them all for you! LOL.

Thanks for stopping by and commenting!
*hugs*

MGM said...

All I could think about was how I'm currently address passive-aggression in my anger management group right now. Ha! Me? I'm direct. I would have been sure to speak to a manager promptly and insist that I be reserved fresh food via new server staff and that I not be charged for the hassle of having to wait through the process for a second time.

But that's just me. I don't even think I would recognize Wayne Newton. Honestly, I don't think I know what he looks like. Now, Walker Texas Ranger, unfortunately...he I would recognize. I would be hard to pee with him watching though! Or any of them, for that matter.

jesse said...

I can't believe she reheated the eggs-gross! There is no way I would have eaten them.

Chris said...

MGM - In any type of other situation we would have done exactly the same type of thing. This was simply not that type of place. We would have been at hazard for much more than just reheated eggs in the new food **shiver**

Jess - Yes, it really was! LOL.

Pokey Puppy said...

too too funny.. that was such a thing our mom would do!! Miror mirror on the wall I AM my mother after all...

Did someone loose a breadstick??

Chris said...

Pokey - ROFLMAO. Well, there were no bread sticks involved..but as MGM suggested there were almost flying eggs ;-) And yes..it's scary but true..I'm a little more mom than I ever thought I'd be ;-)

PC said...

Wow....
My wild and crazy wife does it again. Some guys fantasize about threesomes and wild kitchen sex..
Nope, not me..
I have been blessed with a wild and crazy picture re-arranger, how deviant and sexy...
wow gotta stop typing to go..umm.. umm get my pictures moved...

PC

Chris said...

My Prince Charming - ROFLMAO. I'll rearrange your pics anytime ;-)

Mrs. Jo said...

OMG how dare you do such a thing to those poor people....LOL just kidding...I wish I could have helped...I mean to serve running F*ing eggs...geez..and then "I" turn out to be the bad person..did I cook the flippin eggs..then did I microwave them...Ummmm no...they sooo deserved the rearrangement of those pictures..way to sock it to them!

Chris said...

Mrs. Jo - Yes. It is I. Great defender of the breakfast crowd. ;-)

Brian o Vretanos said...

All of this (well not the wild kitchen sex, alas) reminds me of the German film "The Edukators", where a couple of young men with socialist ideals break into rich people's homes when they're on holiday and rearrange all their stuff - piling furniture up to look like some kind of modern art sculpture, putting valuables in the fridge, etc. Perhaps the prequel will tell of how they started out rearranging a few pictures in a bathroom...

Slackermommy said...

You go girl! That's awesome.

Chris said...

Brian - ROFL. Well, I think I'm a long way from breaking into homes. I'm WAY to clutzy for that ;-) Oh yeah. And it would be illeagal ;-)

Slackermommy - lol. Thanks :-)

Lisa said...

You badass you. :-)

Tracy said...

You truly are the EVIL LLT! I hope I never make you mad!

Chris said...

Lisa - Yep. That's me. I'm gonna get a tattoo with that right across my arm next week ;-)

Tracy - LOL! I told ya. I'm the evil twin ;-)