Dear Michael Ezeocha....

E-mail I received Friday:
Dearest in Christ,

I am Mr. Michael Ezeocha, and I got your contact on my personal search of
the person I want to will my money to.

Please I willed the sum of Two Million US Dollars to you,that is the only
money left in my account right now.Please,I want you to use this money for
the churches and less privileged.

If you really want to know why I have willed this money toyou and you want
this money to be transferred to you please contact the bank manager whose
name and address I will give to you as soon as you reply this mail.

He will help you transfer this money that I have willed to you. Right now
I am in the hospital and i will tell you my story.

Please get back to me through my reliable email

God Bless you.
Michael Ezeocha

My Response:
Dear Michael,
I can't begin to tell you how much it means to me that you want to bestow this phenomenal gift on me, a perfect stranger. I am so sorry to hear you are in the hospital. That must be very difficult.

I considered your offer all weekend, and as any smart intelligent person would do performed a Google search on your name. Apparently you have made this same offer to at least 250 other people.

Therefore, based on my calculations you have at least Five Hundred Million and not just the Two Million, as you stated. I find the fact that you would lie to me rather hurtful and disappointing.

I understand that you may think I'm greedy by wanting the entire sum of your money. I mean really, what can someone do with Five Hundred Million that they can't accomplish with Two Million. The truth is you are correct. I am greedy. If I am special enough to receive Two Million, then I think I'm special enough to receive all Five Hundred Million. After all, I am a Domestic Wonder Woman.

So, unless you are willing to transfer all Five Hundred Million to my account, I simply can not go along with the Two Million. I am an 'All or Nothing' type girl. Just ask my husband.



Absolutely Bananas said...

RFOL... you MUST keep us apprised of his response!!

Anonymous said...

AB - I most definitely will. I also promise that if I am given the five hundred million that I will be nice and share ;-D

Catwoman said...

Yeah, two million will hardly buy you Jimmy Choo shoes and coach purses. I can't believe that selfish bastard! Good for you for calling him on it.

And amazing that he has time to track down strangers by the Internet all while being in the hospital.

Tracy said...

There for a minute I thought that you would be as equally wealthy as I and maybe we could go into business making cardboard purse shaped pee recepticles or something, but alas, it was not meant to be.
You had me rolling on this one! I didn't even think to google my peoples names. I might have to demand more for myself. If I do get more, I'll share it with you, my long lost twin.

Tracy said...

Oh and why do they always write so badly? One would think that while in the hospital he could read some Proper Grammar For Dummies book or something.

Anonymous said...

Catwoman - and purses..maybe I should rethink that 2 million deal ;-)

Tracy - Cardboard pee shoe things!? Brilliant! Why didn't I think of that! We SHOULD go into that business!

And honestly, I fixed a lot of the spacing that was messed up in the letter before I posted it! LOL.

Amber said...

'Bout time someone gives them a dose of their own medicine. Laughing that you took the time to respond (and what a response it was. :-)

Anonymous said...

Amber - Thank ya. Thank ya very much :-D

Bee said...

I came across your blog and laughed so loud I almost gave myself away at work! :o)

Anonymous said...

Bee - Oh NO! I do love that you love me but I do not suggest loosing your job over me. I'm simply not that funny.

Okay, well, sometimes I might be worth it because I am that funny. But most of the time I'm not. And then if you couldn't eat I don't think me being funny would feed you. And then you would starve and die. And it would be my fault.

And OMG..did I really just kill off a reader for the first time???

**Voice Over bullhorn**
Ma'am..please step away from the comment box. Do not I repeat... Do not press one more button or I will be forced to cut all power to your computer

Okay, consumption is at a high right now. Walking away.

Bee..thanks a lot and I'm glad you like it here!

Gondrei said...

That's just mail spam dude, I got it but the cheapskate only willed me 1 million =), some of my friends also got it so I'm afraid you just answered a spam-bot machine, all the very best.

Anonymous said...

Gondrei - Yes, I do know that :-) I was just being funny :-)

Anonymous said...

o my god! i received the same letter!

CHLOE (: said...

Oh God, i received the same scam e-mail too. I like the respond you gave to him (:

I was laughing hard when I saw the respond you gave, well done !
this kind of scamm-ers ( I call ) should really stop.

this is what he replied me :

Thanks for your reply.
I must say I am really not happy about your response to my email.

Please if you do not need the money,do not worry about repling this email. I do this according to the direction of my spirit.

After several search for a reliable and God fearing person.I got your contact through prayers to use you as the only beneficiary of my funds left in the bank.

I am aware of the numerous scam mails going on in the internet today but that will surely not stop us from moving on in life especially when a great chance like this comes your way.
I am not a Nigerian please.

I want you to believe with your whole heart that this is real and I really do not want anything from you in return except your prayers.
I have already told you that my name is Mr. Michael Ezeocha, I'm a 65 years old Man. I was a merchant and owned two businesses in Dubai. I was also married with two children.

My children died in a car accident three years ago. Upon that I was mistakenly injected with the injection that was used on a HIV AIDS patient. My Wife left me to an unknown destination when she discovered that I have Aids.

Ever since I got this strange illness of mine, I strongly devoted my life to God and I have been willing churches, charity organizations, and some individuals which you happened to be one of them. This is God blessing to you and also myself too.

Before I got this illness, my business and concern for making money was all I live for. I never really cared about other values in life. But since the lost of my family and the arrival of this strange illness, I have found a new desire to assist helpless families.

I have been helping orphans in orphanage/motherless homes.

Presently, I'm in a hospital where I have been undergoing treatment. I have since lost my ability to talk and my doctors have told me that I have only days to live.

My last wish is to see that the remaining US$2M left in my account is willed to a God fearing person before I die. Because relatives and friends have plundered so much of my wealth since my illness, I cannot live with the agony entrusting this huge responsibility to any of them.

I willed this money to you with all my heart and I believe is the will of God for me to meet you in good faith. Please I want you to be praying for me because this illness is getting worst, as I am seeing it is too much on me now but keep on praying for me to be in the right hand side of God almighty when I die.

I have authorized the bank manager in Abbey National Bank Plc of London were I have an account, to remit the remaining Two million us dollars left in my account to you.

Please contact the bank manager with this address bellow: Name of Bank: Abbey National Bank Plc of London (UK).
Name of the Manager: Mr David Walker,
Private Telephone contact:+447024060672
Private Email

He will remit this fund that I have willed to you, please make sure you get in touch with him to enable them remit this fund to you.

Thank you for your understanding and may the Good lord we serve bless you and protect you in Jesus Name. Michael Ezeocha

You rock girl.