Lisa at Midwestern Mommy
Her post about Anger and Resentment towards a friend really hit home with me. I've recently connected with a friend from my past, whom I really thought I thought I had forgiven. Once we started talking I realized that not only had I not forgiven her, I had been allowing another friends feelings towards this girl affect my feelings negatively.
As Lisa said,
I feel vindicated and validated in holding onto those emotions. I feel resentful. Try as I might, I can't seem to let "it" go. I think a subconscious part of me doesn't WANT to. If I'm honest with myself, I'd begrudgingly admit that cleaving onto past injuries makes me feel morally superior to that person -- especially since they've judged me in the past and let it be known that I failed to live up to their expectations.
That is exactly what I've been doing. Holding on to my resentment for past wrongs so that I can feel I'm morally superior. How ridiculous is THAT?? I have been very close to this person and although we've had our differences I know that if I called her up right now and needed something she would do her best to help me.
I spoke to this person last night, and had a chance to apologize for some of the past hurts I know I had caused her. I am not usually a very small or petty person, but I did act that way regarding her.
Thank you Lisa for making me think and helping me realize that I needed to find a way to resolve this and truly forgive and forget.
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