Wanted:Name: It Wasn't me
Age: Believed to be between 8 yrs. and 2 yrs., but has been known to impersonate a 32 yr. old
Sex: Unknown, has portrayed both male and female tendencies
Identifying Marks: Name typically followed by an exclamation point ---> !
- Causing chaotic disturbances of toys, clothing and other household items
- Performing chores improperly
- Disregarding household rules
- Framing different members of the household for the afore mentioned crimes
How to know if you have been a victim of It Wasn't me:
- If you ask a particular member of the house who used crayon on a window and the response is 'It wasn't me!'
- If you find a pair of shoes in the middle of the room and say " You guys need to start putting your shoes away properly!" and you receive a chorus of "It wasn't me" (including the owner of shoes)
- If you notice the children eating a piece of candy at a time not normally considered acceptable by mothering standards and you give your significant other 'The Look' and again are told , "It wasn't me!"
What to do if you find you have been a victim:
- Count to 10. At least twice.
- Take a deep breath
- Quickly exclaim to all in room this exact phrase: "Quick, Quick! Find him! It wasn't me is here again and we need to catch him!"
- When family members look at you in puzzlement and confusion (a.k.a.: Mommy has had to much coffee and lost her mind), respond with this phrase: "It wasn't me has been causing all sorts of trouble today! (insert personalized examples here ---> _________________) We have to try to catch him before he does something else that will get you in trouble!"
- Continue in this method until all (or most) of It wasn't me! sightings have been averted