Frozen Dead Guy Days

So I ran across this site, all about Frozen Dead Guy Days in Nederland, Co. At first I thought it was a joke, but it's a real event that happens every March 7-9th.


By Bo Shaffer, Cryogenicist

Bredo Morstoel, or as he is known around here, Grandpa in the Tuff Shed, was born in Norway in 1900. He stopped breathing in 1989, but is currently awaiting re-animation at some undetermined time in the future. This is the Life Extension Concept: Grandpa is not truly dead, he’s just waiting until they can fix him and bring him back to life. The concept of cryogenics has been around for a few years.

Grandpa Bredo died in Norway, was cryogenically prepared and frozen in Los Angeles, and currently resides in Nederland, in a Tuff Shed emblazoned with the logo of the Denver radio station 103.5 The Fox that arranged for the shed to be donated. The shed sits next to a partially finished, concrete covered, earthquake proof, fire proof, bomb proof metal supported structure that was intended to be the main building of the Life Extension Institute. The main building was to connect underground with the vault where the cryogenic capsules were to be stored. This was the intention of Bredo’s Grandson, Trygve Bauge.

Trygve financed the land and buildings on a slim budget, always intending to get a couple of “paying customers” fairly fast to help defray expenses. The cryogenic vault was a tin garden shed and the Dewar flasks for the liquid nitrogen were not in the budget yet. Trygve was keeping the cryonic facility operating on a shoestring, using dry ice to keep things at a relatively warm—cryonically speaking—but somewhat frosty –109°F.

Things were progressing slow but steady towards the full Institute concept, since there were now two bodies in the cryonic “vault,” when Trygve ran afoul of the Law. Trygve always felt that he was a citizen of the world and he didn’t have to show them no stinking Green Card. Even this would have probably been tolerated except that every time he could, Trygve would call attention to his plight, using the media and making the INS out to be idiots. You can break their rules, but don’t call them stupid!

It became necessary for INS to do their duty, and this they promptly did by snatching Trygve and hustling his butt off to Norway. ’Nuff said.

Unfortunately, during the media brouhaha surrounding Trygve’s deportation and abandonment of his elderly mother, Aud Morstoel (Bredo’s daughter), she happened to mention to a reporter that she just didn’t know how she was going to take care of the two bodies in the shed. Up until this time, there were probably only a half dozen people in the whole world that had any idea of what was coming into being on the property in Nederland. Certainly none of the media nor the quickly summoned police knew anything at all about cryogenically preserved bodies.....You have to read it all

Why didn't anyone tell me about this sooner? I mean really, this could be some great family get away time! Some of the best activities are:

  • NOON ON: AFTERLIFE AUCTION items on display for silent bids at the BLACK FOREST RESTAURANT in the bar area. These include a New Belgium Fat Tire Bicycle and an 8 x 8’ TUFF SHED, and special baskets donated by DAZ BOG COFFEE, COCA-COLA, and GRABBER WARMERS.

  • 7 pm: Frozen Dead Guy Days® officially kicks off with a Special Opening Ceremony in the Town Roundabout. We will light up this year’s snow sculpture created by local carver, Karen Adler, and watch the skeleton dancers swing to the beat of Oingo Boingo’s “It’s a Dead Man’s Party,” which it most certainly is. FREE

  • 10 pm: GRANDPA-LOOK-A-LIKE CONTEST takes place on the stage at the BLUES MASQUERADE BALL. First 15 contestants to register and pay registration of $10 (plus Ball ticket) to compete. First place prize $100 cash. Winner will be needed throughout weekend.

  • 2 pm: “THE” FESTIVAL EVENT......TUFF SHED COFFIN RACES at Chipeta Park w/ your mc hosts, Robyn of ROCKIN’ THE ROCKIES and UKELELEI LOKI Up to thirty coffin race teams are ready to race in 2 per heat runoffs down a course full of obstacles, , mud, snow, playground slides, and the TUFFSHED CRYONICS MAUSOLEUM to be the first across the finish line. $300 cash prize for first place, $100 for second and $50 for third. Prizes also awarded for best team costumes, team spirit and coffin construction. Prizes also awarded for best hearses. FREE ADMISSION

  • 5:30 pm: FROZEN T-SHIRT CONTEST at BEARS BROTHERS BISTRO How fast can you open it up and put it on? $10 contestant fee. All contestants receive a free ‘07 FDGD® t-shirt. Male and female categories. First 15 to register to compete for prizes to be given in top three fastest times.


twetyz1 said...

Ok, that is just FREAKY! I don't think I want to come back, to see what the world has come to hundred's of years later!!


Bee said...

That is so BEEzar! And a little creepy.

Brian o Vretanos said...

Someone's presumably making a lot of money out of these suckers.

The difference between these people and Han Solo is that Han was frozen alive, so when they thawed him was still alive. The cryo-corpses are frozen then they're, em, dead. You might as well try to revive a fish finger.

Tracy said...

Well, I now know where our next family vacation is going to take place!
I have always been afraid of what happens after we die. I'm not afraid so much of the dead part but I've always worried that you know what happens to your body. I don't know if that makes any sense.
Anyways, I'm very excited about my vacation! Wanna come?

Jesse said...

How weird, but on a happy note I tagged you for a very fun and easy meme so please stop by and check it out.

lifeasamama said...

too funny!

i tagged you for the "seven things" meme that's been floating around. i can't remember if you've done it or not, but i thought i'd tag you anyway!

Anonymous said...

you don't actually know me, but i;m from nederland and i'm one of the skeleton dancers for the opening ceromony. the festival is really more of a tourist thing though...most locals stay inside