Two Week Notice Rejection Response



Yesterday I sent the head of my company a letter of resignation. Here is the response I received via e-mail:


Dear Superwoman,

I have faith in you to see this task to it's completion. I chose you because of your dedication, your wisdom of all motherly things( we'll leave algebra to me), your humor, your strengths, your warm and gentle touch (no doctor can fix a boo boo as good as your kiss), and most important your love.

I...uh.. This company is aware of your long hours and tiresome dedication. I have included the following benefits as a reminder:

  • Room and Board (even if you have to clean it and board it)
  • Health Insurance (even if you have to transport said managers)
  • Million Dollar Retirement Account ( Shared of course, matures at age 65)
  • Married Google's #1 Sexy Handyman (Need I say more)
  • All the 3M stuff you need
  • Company Transportation ( a vintage classic and a friendly "I love You" car)
  • Laundry Service (OK, so it's self serve)

To entice you to stay with us I have been authorized to offer the following benefits:

  • (1) weekly massage.
  • (1) weekly Girl night out package
  • (1) monthly Date with Google's #1 sexy handyman
  • (2) weekly 30 minute time out sessions
  • (1) weekly pamper yourself night ( a one time $100 Bath and Body Works Gift card)
  • (1) "Pass It On" Chore, anything you don't want to do, pass it on to Prince Charming
  • (1) weekly dinner prepared by Chef Ramsey impersonator ( Swearing included)

If there is anything else I could include please feel free to contact my secretary and I will accommodate you in any possible way to help see this project through.

Thank you, and I Love You.

Best Regards,
Prince Charming



Yeah, Sometimes they are pretty good at reminding you why you married 'em ;-)

10 comments:

Anonymous said...

What an incentive package!!! And a great reminder of all benefits still in place!! Nice to be reminded of all the things that make him prince charming to begin with.

Anonymous said...

Diane - Yes, yes it is. It is a pretty impressive list of added benefits

Tracy Rambles On And On said...

Hey Chris,
If you do decide to go ahead with your resignation, could you please recommend me as your replacement?
Can I just say that my husband would never ever ever offer that package! Your Prince Charming just made mine look like a toad.
That was very sweet!
Tracy

Anonymous said...

Tracy - LOL. Sure no problem! I will definitely keep you in mind. As we are long lost twins it shouldn't be too much of an issue ;-) But honestly after the new benefit package was added I am re-thinking leaving ;-)

Tracy Rambles On And On said...

I completely understand your rethinking the whole thing. I just wanted to be sure to go ahead and get my foot in the door for just in case. I had no idea that being your long lost twin would have such great benefits!
Tracy

Anonymous said...

Tracy - Well, No one can blame you for trying and I sure would have done the same thing! Hmmm...I wonder what I'd get for a severance package.....

Unknown said...

You had me at "weekly massage."

Anonymous said...

Amber - LOL! Thanks for stopping by :-D

Anonymous said...

How sweet!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

You know you have to use them if offered. Do I have to do sneak midnight massages?lol, those usually lead to other things...lol... Whats a guy gotta do to give up a message.