Once again I am sure you have noticed my disappearing act. It's been a long and strange life here since last Thursday.
First, my laptop finally died. As in Dead. As in...nadda, nothing,zip, zero. So I called HP and they determined I needed a new motherboard, so she will soon be on her way to be repaired. Our desktop also decided around the same time that it didn't like my internet provider and no longer wished to work with it. The fact that I actually got online today is a miracle.
The second is that Prince Charming and I have decided to separate. Not on a permanent basis. Just for a while. We both feel that we need to do some growing up in places we haven't allowed each other, find ourselves, establish positive communication and find our way back to each other. After almost 11 years with him this is the hardest thing I have ever prepared to go through. He will be moving out in 1.5 weeks. I have to get a job. I will be sending the kids with him every other weekend. I have to sleep alone at night. I have to grow up and be a big girl now.
It is hard and yes, maybe even a bit drastic. But right now we both feel this is a truly positive step in getting our relationship back on track. Hopefully this will also prevent us from slipping back into old habits and hurts and establish a new pattern of interaction for us. We are planning on dating each other like we should have this entire time. The talks we've had since this decision have been some of the most open and honest of our entire relationship. I have already, in just the past 4 days, fallen completely in love with him in a whole new way.
We have started the process of facing the world together..instead of fighting each other over the world. We are finding the way back to being what we need, both for ourselves, and for each other. We are learning how to not only love, but show that love, all over again.
So I hope you'll forgive me for not visiting lately and my infrequent posts. Right now I am focusing on how to find me and be the person I know that I can, and learning how to love my husband all over again.
Missing you all lots.