A Time of Good-bye's...




Once again I am sure you have noticed my disappearing act. It's been a long and strange life here since last Thursday.

First, my laptop finally died. As in Dead. As in...nadda, nothing,zip, zero. So I called HP and they determined I needed a new motherboard, so she will soon be on her way to be repaired. Our desktop also decided around the same time that it didn't like my internet provider and no longer wished to work with it. The fact that I actually got online today is a miracle.

The second is that Prince Charming and I have decided to separate. Not on a permanent basis. Just for a while. We both feel that we need to do some growing up in places we haven't allowed each other, find ourselves, establish positive communication and find our way back to each other. After almost 11 years with him this is the hardest thing I have ever prepared to go through. He will be moving out in 1.5 weeks. I have to get a job. I will be sending the kids with him every other weekend. I have to sleep alone at night. I have to grow up and be a big girl now.

It is hard and yes, maybe even a bit drastic. But right now we both feel this is a truly positive step in getting our relationship back on track. Hopefully this will also prevent us from slipping back into old habits and hurts and establish a new pattern of interaction for us. We are planning on dating each other like we should have this entire time. The talks we've had since this decision have been some of the most open and honest of our entire relationship. I have already, in just the past 4 days, fallen completely in love with him in a whole new way.

We have started the process of facing the world together..instead of fighting each other over the world. We are finding the way back to being what we need, both for ourselves, and for each other. We are learning how to not only love, but show that love, all over again.

So I hope you'll forgive me for not visiting lately and my infrequent posts. Right now I am focusing on how to find me and be the person I know that I can, and learning how to love my husband all over again.

Missing you all lots.
xoxo

9 comments:

B said...

((((Hugs))) Much strength and growth for you and Prince Charming during this time. I will be praying for your family!

Absolutely Bananas said...

oh wow. very best of luck in whatever path this leads you. I imagine it's extremely hard. Hang in there!

Gigi said...

Chris...
hi its gigi...its not easy being a big girl now but with the love and support of family and friends (i know Jess has been a God send for me) you can and will get through it. Whatever the outcome the 2 of you deceide my only advice to you is work always together for the sake of the kids....

MGM said...

Oh WOW! I pray for good stuff to come out of this really hard decision. And, honestly, it's a good thing you've been irregular in blogland and that you plan to continue to be irregular at this point. It means you are working at keeping your priorities in order!

jesse said...

I'll be praying for you and your husband. I know this is a difficult time for you and I know we all understand why you may not be on here, because really you should be focusing on you and your family right now. But if you need a friend to talk to we're all here for you. :)

Bee said...

I know I don't know you in person but I would like to tell you, you are in my prayers! I also admire the fact that you can be so honest here. I'm normally not a hugger but I'm sending you one now.

Chris said...

((((((((((Everyone))))))))

I want to thank you for your wonderful words and thoughts. They really mean so much to me. I absolutely love you all :-D

xoxoxo

Chris

Lisa said...

Sending you ALOT of hugs.

Sounds like you guys have both got a healthy attitude and are very committed to each other.

An sometimes its like cleaning out a closet. Its gonna get messier when you first start cleaning it -- as you've got alot of stuff to sort through. But soon enough, you'll be glad you did it.

Sounds like you are sorting through the junk phase now...

Tracy said...

I couldn't have said it better than Lisa just did! I hope you both stay strong and work things out!