Dear Alex,

When I ask you to clean your room that does not mean see how many socks, shirts and other discarded clothing it would take to lift your bed off the ground. (Before you say it: Yes, I know your bed is on the floor and not the ground. Just go with it next time, k?)

When I say 'Get your Butt moving' while we are rushing to get ready in the morning, I do not literally mean to move only your butt.

I am sorry the cat ate a mouse. That is what cats do. I will not yell and spank the cat because it found meal that will save me the price of a trap this winter.

If I do not let you have a snack as you are walking upstairs to bed, you will not starve. I checked. You have a week. Therefore, the 3 meals and 4 snacks you ate prior to your bedtime departure mean that you are not, in fact, starving.

When your sister tells on you for hitting her, even though you didn't, that does not mean you can hit her the second I walk out of the room. There is no "Double Jeopardy" law in this house.

I hope this helps us as we venture upon future relations into the tween world and that we can prevent further moments of literal interpretation of my words and other untimely interruptions in our day to debate the merits of my rules.

I love you to the moon and back,


Diane said...

I have to tell you... This absolutely made my day. I haven't laughed this hard in a long long time. Perfect post award.

Just want to know how you will get him to read and digest this post? roflmao

Tracy said...

I agree with Diane here, it was so very funny. It also made me angry that you wrote yet another post that I didn't think of first and my kids totally do all of those things that you mentioned. How is it that they all think of these exact same things? Is it programmed into their DNA or something?

Tiff said...

LOL with Little Monkey being autistic he takes everything literally.. .even at 2 1/2.The other day I told him to give his brother some chips. . so he gave him one. Since i didn't tell him and exact number he just gave him one. So we experimented. I told him to give Tiger three goldfish. True to his word he counted out three gold fish and handed them to his brother!!! My daughter is a tween as you know and we are dealing with all of that with her too! Thanks for the laugh. . .I needed that!

Lisa said...

Awww. I love your refernce to the Guess How Much I Love You book.

I could have writtent his post. Only Seth is five and his "sister" is the dog. :-)

PC said...

I have no idea where he gets all of his hijinks, It must be from his