I have a confession to make. Or maybe an FYI. Anyway, Prince Charming and I have separated. We have been for a week and one day as of today. We have known since before Christmas that this needed to happen, but were unable financially to do anything. Finally,at the end of January, we were in a place where we could go through with it.
We still talk all day, he still visits both me and the kids, and we are still friends. Divorce is not on the table. We simply both have issues that must be worked out, worked through, moved past, and growing up to do. And some of this just can't happen while we are living under the same roof. At least for me. We are going to go to counseling. We are going to try everything to make it through this. And I believe we will both be better in the end.
So if you have heard me whining about no job, now you know why. And if I am not on here to visit or post, now you know why :-) I really am okay. I miss him. I'm lonely. I'm terrified. But I've had a while to prepare for what's ahead of me. The kids are taking it in stride, trying to figure things out. The hardest part is worrying if I've made the right choice. If this is the path that will help us both in the end. But all I can do is have Faith in myself and my abilities to see my through whatever may come.
There has not been an overwhelming sense of support for me, nor has there been any severe disagreements. Just a mildly worried acceptance. Sometimes that makes it hard, scares me more, and makes me doubt myself. But this weekend, two people said something to me and without knowing what they had done, they gave me an amazing sense of peace, strength and calm.
Somone reminded me to 'Be Yourself'. Something I have been struggling with for a while now. Who I am, who I want to be, who I should be. Somehow those words instantly reminded me of where I wanted to go in my life and draw strength from that.
Another person, who is not an emotional type, said to me "I am proud of you.' And while maybe to others these are just ordinary words, they made me cry and helped restore my faith in myself and in my journey.
So to those people, if you are reading this, Thank you for what you have given me. Thank you for reminding me. And thank you for loving me.